Kingdom Hearts II: Female Sora
by Mearad
Summary: Sora defeated Ansem, setting out to find Riku and the King... and then wakes up in an abandoned "Capsule Hotel" with no recollection of how she got there. Kairi has disappeared and Sora discovers evil is once again at foot. Somebody Sora knows may be a traitor but it can't be, right...? With Organisation XIII on the move, can she distinguish friend from foe? This is a sequel story.
1. Chapter 1

**Me:** Hello everyone! I'm just here to tell you I'm not going to write this story anymore... APRIL FOOLS!

 **Sora:** What Mearad meant to say was she's _just starting_ the sequel to **_Kingdom Hearts: Princes of Heart._**

 **Me:** That's right! So if you haven't read the first one... GO THERE RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW!

 **Kairi:** *sweat drops* ...She's gone stupid...

* * *

"…ra…! So…ra…!"

Eyes opened slowly. They blinked once. Then twice. White, white all around her.

 _The hospital…? No… Ah well, it doesn't matter… I'm tired…_

" **SORA, WAKE UP YOU LAZY IDIOT!"**

"WHAAA!" Sora jumped a mile as Donald grabbed her and dragged her forward out of the capsule she had been in. "D-Donald, let go!"

The duck kept scowling, muttering under his breath as they walked towards Goofy. The trio were in a huge circular white room (It didn't seem to be a hospital). In fact, there was nobody around them at all and if it wasn't for the small patterns on the door, Sora would have panicked and thought there was no escaping the white void.

"Hey guys? Where are… *yawn*… we?" she couldn't help but yawn again, trying once more to fight off the tiredness in her limbs.

"Gwarsh, I dunno'" Goofy smiled. "What does your journal say, Jiminy?"

"Well… WHAT?!" Jiminy gasped. "The pages! They're all blank! How can this be?! All my precious recordings…"

Sora, Donald and Goofy looked at each other. All Jiminy's entries had vanished?

"I…Huh? Hang on, there's a few words here..." Jiminy opened the book to the last page. "It says: _**Thank Namine and Axel.**_ Gee, I wonder what that means?"

Jiminy looked up when none of the trio answered, only to sigh when he found Donald and Goofy playing rock-paper-scissors and Sora inspecting her capsule.

"Huh? Did you say something Jiminy?" Sora returned, carefree and smiling. "And by the way, do you remember what we were doing last?"

"You don't even care…" Jiminy sweat dropped.

Sora laughed bashfully, scratching the back of her (much longer) hair. "Weren't we chasing after Pluto or something…AH!"

"The King's letter!" Donald said excitedly. "That means he got out safely!"

 _That's right. After we defeated Ansem and closed Kingdom Hearts, we thought Riku and the King were locked in but…_

"Riku must of got out safely as well. Funny, it all feels so long ago now…"

"Well, ya' have grown quite a bit Sora. We musta' been sleeping for a while, hyuk!" Goofy pointed out.

"Geez… How long were we snoozing for anyway…?" Sora then shrugged. "Well, might as well check where we are. Maybe that will spark something in us, right?"

And so the trio (and Jiminy) walked, passing some sort of computer lab and continuing up the stairs towards the mansion foyer. Sora was just about to check upstairs when-

"Hey wait!" Jiminy gasped in alarm. "Where's your pal, Kairi?!"

"Eh?" Sora blinked… and clicked. "AHHHHHHHHH!"

Sunset Station

The train pulled in and a small figure dressed in a black coat stepped off the train. His face was hidden but he seemed to be easily noticeable. After all, two big round ears was not something the citizens of Twilight Town saw every day.

Sora, Donald and Goofy (Mansion Foyer)

"C-Come on Sora!" Donald said awkwardly. "C-chin up!"

Shadows of gloom clung to Sora like a leech and she didn't respond.

"Donald's right." Jiminy hopped on her shoulder. "It's not the end of the world. Kairi might just be waiting for you outside. Just because he wasn't here when you woke up doesn't mean he's gone."

"B-But… I forgot about him…" Sora whined pathetically. "What type of…*yawn* friend am I?"

"The type that's still sleepy!" Goofy laughed. "You probably just need a snooze, Sora. I'm sure Kairi will forgive ya' this one time."

Sora nodded hesitantly, standing up properly before scowling as a tuff of her spiky brown hair fell in her face. "Grr… Stupid hair growing longer without my permission!"

Donald and Goofy stared at each other before laughing quietly.

"She may look older…" Donald shook his head.

"But she's still the same inside, hyuk!"

Sora 'hmphed', exiting the mansion. Even though they had all been so noisy, nobody had appeared to tell them off. As such, Sora figured nobody was home and she'd just have to search outside the mansion.

 _But really, where did Kairi go? And why were we sleeping in there in the first place? I don't remember going in…. And did Kairi go to look for Riku and the king? But that still doesn't explain why we can't remember why we were sleeping… Which just brings us back to question number one… Where's Kairi?_

"ARGH! I hate thinking so hard!" Sora shouted, ruffling her hair in dismay. "Stupid Kairi, not even bothering to leave a note! Stupid Riku, for locking himself in Kingdom Hearts…! …Stupid me… For not even being able to keep track of my friends…"

Another depressive wave of gloom washed over Sora and she sighed heavily. Looking back to make sure Donald and Goofy hadn't seen her 'sad' face, she was just about to head inside when she heard a small _**whoosh**_.

Instincts kicking in, Sora just managed to swerve and block what appeared to be a flaming, spinning chakram. It shot off back into the air and Sora's eyes followed it as a guy in a black hood caught it, stepping forward from the shadows.

"Who are you?!" Sora quickly summoned her keyblade, heart rate quickening as she got into a defensive stance.

Her body still felt sluggish but Donald and Goofy were both inside, unable to hear her. She knew she wasn't at her best and even now, the attacker was intent on fighting her. He remained silent, summoning his two chakrams again, both alight with flames.

 _This guy is no normal opponent…_

"I knew it…" the cloaked person muttered as he took off his hood. "Do you recognise me, Roxas?"

Long, spiky red hair, blazing blue-green eyes, the mysterious attacker didn't seem bothered by Sora's defensive stance nor her stubborn refusal to answer. In fact, he seemed to take that as confirmation for something because he sighed.

"I just know I'll be turned to a dusk by the end of the day…" he muttered before without warning, launched forward to attack Sora again.

"W-Wha!" Sora couldn't bring her keyblade up in time but it turned out she didn't have to worry.

"I won't let you harm her!" Kairi appeared so deftly and skilfully in front of her that Sora wondered if she was still sleeping in the capsule. _Was this really the Kairi who didn't know how to wield his keyblade in the End of All Worlds?_

Quick as a flash, Kairi had deflected the guy's weapons and sent him crashing back a few meters with a well placed blizzard. Funny, as soon as Sora noticed this, she also noticed that she wasn't the only one who had changed. Kairi looked more broader in the shoulders now, his hair tied back into a small (barely there) ponytail. He was wearing a red top and black baggy pants, his shirt showing a picture of a seashell on it. He was also taller than Sora, which was a startling discovery considering they had been nearly the same height when Sora last checked.

 _Really… how long was I sleeping for if we changed this much?!_

The attacker scoffed, standing back up and glaring at Kairi. "So it seems there is more than one traitor surrounding Sora, hey Kairi?"

Sora's eyes widened in confusion but Kairi snapped suddenly (he seemed to be much more short tempered than Sora remembered too).

"Of course I'm not a traitor! But I won't allow you to harm Sora to get-!"

"You think I care about that?!" attacker guy roared. "I just want Roxas back! You're the one who-"

Kairi interrupted. "I didn't think Riku would do that, okay?! I never thought he'd be that kind of-"

"And now we're at crossroads, huh?!" attacker guy laughed bitterly. "Of course it doesn't matter if nobodies don't get what they want. They can't _feel_ , after all."

"You and I both know that's not true!" Kairi scowled. "Riku knew as well yet he still-…No, we don't know that. Axel, we _can_ fix this but we can't do it as enemies!"

"But you believe that, don't you? That he betrayed you." The guy called Axel narrowed his eyes. "So give me one good reason why I should trust you."

Sora could see the conflicting emotions on Kairi's face and wondered just what the heck she had missed.

"Because… Because Roxas trusted me."

* * *

 **Me:** Hmm... Axel and Kairi sure like cutting each other's epic speeches off, don't they?

 **Axel:** But he's the one who started-

 **Kairi:** I wouldn't have started it if you-

 **Axel:** See, he's doing it again!

 **Me:** ANYWAY... *coughs* What does everybody think? Surprising turn of events, right? *smiles happily* Don't forget to rate and review!

 **Hayner:** Hey, when is Sora going to meet us-

 **Me:** BYE BYE!


	2. Chapter 2

**Me:** This is the second chapter! I'm not giving any clues as to what's happened to Riku, Kairi, Roxas or Axel so good luck guessing everyone!

 **Sora:** And yes, Roxas is a girl! Enjoy this chapter, rate and review!

 **Me:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters!

* * *

The guy, Axel, seemed to tense at the mention of 'Roxas'. "You… Don't you mention her name at all!"

This seemed to restart the battle, becoming even more deadly than Sora thought, both fighters using fire and blizzard respectively in an effort to throw each other off balance. Their weapons clashed again and again, sending small sparks everywhere as they put more and more force into their attacks. Sora was completely lost, watching as Kairi's anger-filled face remained the same, not even changing when Axel was thrown onto the ground, giving a grunt of pain.

 _Is this… really Kairi…? He seems so angry and what did that guy mean by Riku being a traitor? Surely he hasn't joined the heartless again, right?_

"Che." Axel scoffed, getting up with a noticeable wince just as a portal of darkness appeared behind him. "Whatever. I'll get Roxas back even if you try and stop me."

"AXEL!" Kairi darted forward towards Axel.

"Kairi, wait!" Sora reached out but Kairi had already vanished into the disappearing portal, leaving Sora alone once again. "What the heck…? WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON HERE?!"

* * *

"Sora, smile!" Donald tried fruitlessly to cheer the girl up but it seemed she was really downcast. "Are you sure it was Kairi? I mean, it could have been an imposter!"

"Donald's right, ahyuk! Don't worry so much." Goofy agreed. "Besides, do ya' really think Riku would betray ya' again? Ya' pal Kairi might just be wrong."

Sora gave a weak smile. "I guess… But I wonder _who_ Roxas is? And why was that Axel guy…AHH! Jiminy's journal mentioned Axel as one of the people we should thank!"

"You're right!" Jiminy opened it again. "And gee, it _is_ my writing so this can't have been faked, even if I can't remember it. Hmm…"

 _But Axel tried to kill me, right? Maybe he might've helped us before we lost our memory but now… And Kairi too… He's also changed so much…_

"Ah, there she goes again…" Donald sweat dropped as Sora went back into her depressive state, turning and freezing as they made their way to the sandpit. "…YOUR MAJESTY?!"

He had appeared from the corner of the building, silent and creeping as if in hiding. The King was wearing a black cloak and didn't seem to have noticed the trio for he jumped at Donald's shout. He 'shhed' them but it was too late as weird wobbly-like silver creatures suddenly surrounded them.

"What the-?!" Sora had her keyblade out quickly, the four of them standing back to back. "Your majesty, what are these things?!"

"I'm sorry guys but there's no time to explain!" The King sounded tired even as he started fighting with his golden keyblade, taking the creatures out with evidently better skill than the still sluggish trio. "You have only just woken, haven't you? You guys need to take the train and go! Hurry!"

He handed them three tickets and was just about to leave when Sora grabbed his hand. "Wait! Your majesty! Where is Riku?! And did he do something bad?!"

"I'm not sure where Riku is right now." The King frowned pensively. "All I know is that trouble's brewin' and I have to act fast."

Sora's head dropped.

"…-BUT!" The King smiled slightly, breaking her out of her trance. "I CAN promise to keep an eye out for our friends… NOW GO!"

"Sora, come on!"

More of the creatures started appearing and Sora was unable to thank the King who began fighting again. Donald and Goofy rushed her towards the station to get on the train, only stopping to briefly look back. The last thing she saw before they turned the corner was the King fighting off what seemed an infinite amount of their mysterious attackers.

The sounds of fighting died away.

"Gwarsh, that sure was spooky!" Goofy commented as they entered the station. "I hope the King's okay…"

Sora nodded glumly. "And he said that trouble's brewing… Maybe that's why Riku and Kairi aren't here right now…"

"But that just means we'll have to wait, right? I'm sure they'll see us soon to explain what's going on!" Jiminy smiled from Sora's shoulder. "And truthfully, I can't wait! I'm so curious in knowing how this Axel fellow helped us."

They spotted the train fairly easily, getting on and taking a seat in silence. All were thinking heavily on what had just happened and who those creatures had been. They certainly weren't heartless but they weren't human either.

"Man, I'm so confused…" Sora sighed, giving a weak smile when Donald and Goofy stared worriedly at her. "Going back to the islands with Riku and Kairi seems so far away…"

"Ahyuk, ya' just have to believe, remember?!" Goofy laughed, patting her on the shoulders. "It'll happen eventually!"

Sora smiled weakly. _So long as Riku and Kairi are the friends I know and not some imposter or twisted version…_ The train started moving and Sora looked out the window, feeling unease claw at her. _Riku…? You haven't really fallen into the darkness again, have you?_

* * *

 **Me:** So... What are your thoughts on this chapter?


	3. Chapter 3

**Me:** Sorry guys for the late update! Truthfully, I just lost a bit of motivation to even go _near_ my computer and type. But hey, I'm back on now and that's what counts, right?

 **Sora:** We finally get _some_ answers in this chapter! But there are more questions too!

* * *

"We seem to be travelling between worlds…" Sora looked curiously at the array of pink, yellow, brown and black colours outside the window. "How come we never saw train tracks hovering in the middle of space back when we were flying the gummi ship?"

"Beats me." Donald shrugged. "I've been thinking, Sora. If Riku upset Kairi, that must mean that he escaped from Kingdom Hearts like the King did, right?"

"…Yeah. I was thinking that too." Sora admitted. "I just hope that nothing went-"

"Fellas, look!" Goofy pointed excitedly to a tower looming in the distance getting closer with each second. "I think we've arrived, hyuk!"

The train slowly came to a stop and the trio nodded to one another before stepping out (after looking left, right… and below to make sure it was safe-they didn't want another Wonderland stunt). The tower appeared even bigger up close and there didn't seem to be any sign of life apart from the lights right at the top.

"Urgh… We gotta' walk that?" Sora complained, feeling the urge to just sleep again. "But I'm tirrreeeddd- _OWW!_ "

"-Ahem." Donald started walking, leaving Sora to rub her poor head, pouting.

 _Donald's gotten meaner…_

Goofy laughed quietly before he and Sora quickly caught up to the duck. However, the three of them stopped upon seeing a shady looking guy peeking his head in the doorway, chuckling every few seconds.

"Um…" Sora's sweat dropped when the big guy merely tried waving them off in a 'scam' motion. "What are you doing?"

"Hehe…! I've sent my lackeys inside to see if the master of this here tower is as big and tough as they say!"

"But why are you watching from the bottom of the tower when he's _clearly_ at the top?" Sora pointed out, glaring when Donald and Goofy seemed super surprised at her analysis. " _What?_ I _can_ think, you know!"

"Details, smeetails!" the guy waved Sora off. "Word is he's a powerful sorcerer and it don't matter if I see anything or not cause' once he's a heartless… He'll simply do what I say!"

"A heartless?!"

The trio got into fighting positions, ready to attack. ' _Another guy controlling the heartless?!_ '

"…-and since I got me a debt to pay, I'm goin' around gathering a bunch of heartless for my dear friend Maleficent!"

Sora blinked.

And then promptly started laughing with her friends, startling the guy into turning around.

"What's so funny?!" he glared before his mouth dropped open. "W-What are you two nimrods doin' here?!"

"PETE?!"

"…You know him?" Sora pointed to the weird guy.

"We sure do! Pete's been causin' trouble for ages! His Majesty banished him to another dimension a long time ago" Goofy frowned, thinking hard. "I wonder how he escaped…"

"Hehehe!" Pete gave off another laugh, smirking. "Maleficent busted me out, that's how!"

' _Heartless are coming.'_

Sora startled as her keyblade appeared in her hand, gaining the attention of everyone around her. Not even two seconds later, coming from one of the tower windows- The glass shattered and around a dozen heartless jumped out, sinking under the ground as soon as they landed.

"See?! With all them heartless at her disposal, Maleficent will conquer everything!" Pete laughed.

Sora launched herself at the first heartless, ducking ( _'much too slow-need to practice again'_ ) under the heartless before slashing at its middle and taking on another two. Donald cast thunder at his corner, destroying four easily while Goofy charged the remaining ones, pummelling them into the ground.

In no time at all ( _'too much time, actually. Fighting the heartless in the End of All Worlds was a lot better than the sloppy attacks I just did'_ ), they turned to face Pete again (who was staring at them wide-eyed).

"H-How'd you do t-that?! W-Well, it doesn't matter! I-I'll just summon more! Soon Maleficent and I will rule all the worlds-"

"-She's toast." Sora said bluntly as Donald and Goofy sniggered. "We defeated her ages ago so…"

"…! You're the ones who did it?!" Pete scowled. "Why I aughta'…!"

"Anyway, who lives here?" Sora interrupted, curiosity getting the better of her.

As soon as Pete mentioned Yen Sid however, Donald and Goofy were dragging her inside the tower and up the stairs faster than she could say 'bye'. Apparently, Yen Sid was the king's teacher and if anybody had answers to all the heartless, weird wobbly silver creatures, Kairi's actions, Riku's no show, mysterious attackers, the King's stealthyness-it was Yen Sid. As such, as they made their way up the tower with heartless attacking them at every corner, Sora couldn't help but want to get there faster.

' _But with all these heartless in the way…!'_

"This is taking too long! Donald, Goofy! Stand back! I'll take care of these ones! FIRE!"

"So… You are Sora." Master Yen Sid looked old (though Sora would obviously never tell that to his face). "Hmm… When I expected to see you, I didn't think you'd be so _burnt_ up."

Sora sweat dropped, wondering if that was a joke. Her fire spell had went dismally wrong (as Donald had put it anyway. She believed it was just a small mistake).

…So _apparently_ not casting for a year made it extremely difficult to do so properly without practice again. Which was the reason Donald was only casting thunder at the moment. His control was shaky at best as well. And because of how Sora already sucked at magic, casting fire was just an accident waiting to happen (but Sora still firmly believed she had just made a mistake-she wasn't that bad… probably).

"Yeah…" Sora laughed awkwardly, hearing Goofy chuckling again and feeling Donald's glare on her back once more. "Anyway, the King sent us. You've got some answers for us, right?"

Yen Sid nodded. "It seems the task of instructing you three falls upon my shoulders. You have a perilous journey ahead of you."

Sora grimaced. "…But what about my friends? Something's going on with them and I _know_ I need to find them… and soon!"

"…Yes. I know." The sorcerer said gravely, startling the three of them. "However, everything in your journey is connected, Sora. Whether you will find your friends… Or whether there will even be any worlds left to search for them…"

"That's right! How come there's so many heartless around?! That Pete guy surely can't control that many! And we stopped Ansem, right?"

 _ **The attacker scoffed, standing back up and glaring at Kairi. "So it seems there is more than one traitor surrounding Sora, hey Kairi?"**_

 _Riku… Unless he's turned back to the darkness… Is Ansem controlling him again?_

"Your past endeavours did prevent an immense effusion of heartless, make no mistake about that." Yen Sid acknowledged. "But darkness yet lingers in every heart and therefore, so too do heartless exist."

Sora looked down at her feet. "You… Also said about knowing what was going on with my friends?"

 _Please don't let it be what I think…_

"Ah. To explain, first I will need to show you the enemies you will surely encounter."

And so Yen Sid began, starting off with the normal bug-like heartless before moving onto the creatures called nobodies. Empty vessels that gained a will of its own. Empty vessels left from those who lost their hearts.

Beings that don't truly exist.

Throughout the explanation, Sora had an uneasy feeling entering her and it finally hit her when Yen Sid moved on from normal nobodies called Dusks… and moved onto the higher more intelligent nobodies called 'Organisation XIII'. Who wear cloaks funnily enough exactly the same as-

" _ **And now we're at crossroads, huh?!" attacker guy laughed bitterly. "Of course it doesn't matter if nobodies don't get what they want. They can't feel, after all."**_

"That guy called Axel…" Sora looked wide-eyed at Donald and Goofy. "He was a nobody as well! Somebody from Organisation XIII!"

"So then… It must've been a ruse, his upset expression at whatever Riku had done! He was just tricking you, Sora!" Donald stomped his foot and Jiminy pulled out his journal.

"Gee, then does that mean the note was wrong? Maybe this Axel guy and this Namine person fooled us into thinking they helped us?"

"…So it seems you have already met some of your enemies." Yen Sid said solemnly. "It _is_ true that young Kairi has been in contact with some of Organisation XIII. It was how we discovered they were beings without hearts and have some sort of goal. He was a great help to giving us information."

"You know Kairi?!"

"Indeed. He trained under me while you were asleep." Yen Sid smiled a bit before losing it. "However, a month ago he vanished without a word to anyone. Before then, he had also kept in contact with your friend Riku but never divulged anything with me. I do know tensions were high between them due to Kairi's contact with the nobodies. But since he disappeared, the whereabouts of both is unknown to me."

"But… Axel was trying to kill me. Does that mean Organisation XIII is trying to kill me?" Sora remembered Axel accusing Kairi of being a traitor for protecting her. "…And does that mean Kairi's with the organisation? He protected me which is why Axel called him a traitor, right? But then…"

 _Why's Kairi still following after Axel? Choosing to stay with the organisation?_

"Sora…" Goofy put a hand on her shoulder.

"I cannot be sure of Kairi's intentions but remember: Everything in your journey is connected. You will find the answers you seek." Yen Sid stood up, waving away the hologram of the organisation. "The nobodies intend to do you harm, regardless of your friend's stance on it…Be Vigilant!"

"Yes sir!" the three of them straightened.

… _Kairi… Whatever reason he joined Organisation XIII, he's obviously still my friend… for now. They're twisting his thoughts, day by day (if his anger and hesitance to trust Riku was anything to go by…). Organisation XIII… Turning my friends against one another and trying to make me doubt Riku as well… I won't be fooled! I will find them both and we'll go back to the islands together-untwisted and still best friends!_

"The King sensed the danger and journeyed forth to fight it." Yen Sid looked out the window. "He is now going from world to world fighting the heartless as he seeks the answer to the riddle of the nobodies and Organisation XIII."

Sora nodded. "Whatever their goal is…"

'… _Whatever trick or pretend emotions they used to make you join them, Kairi… To distrust Riku…_ '

"We'll be careful so they won't harm us. And we'll stop the heartless too! We've done it before, after all!" Donald and Goofy nodded along with her. "What do you say? Up for one more adventure, guys?"

"Yep! We'll find out what happened ta' Riku and we'll convince Kairi to leave the organisation, hyuk!" Goofy put his hand out. "All for one and one for all!"

"…And we'll help the King too, of course!" Donald agreed, adding his hand on.

"…Right!" Sora smiled. "All for one and one for all!"

 _Kairi, the King and Riku… I won't give up! If anything, my previous quest showed me that! We'll find you all! Even if we have to search one world at a time!_

"But before you go… You will need more suitable travelling clothes."

* * *

 **Me:** So, what do you think's really going on with Kairi? Has he really joined the organisation and does this mean he's been manipulated by them? After all, Kairi was the caring, soft-hearted one out of the three of them... And what about Riku? Maybe Axel was trying to make Sora suspicious of him being a traitor again... but that still doesn't explain why Riku hasn't appeared? What has happened between the trio?

 **Sora:** All these questions...! GAHHH! I hate overthinking! Anyway, leave your comments so at least Mearad can make sure nothing is too confusing/obvious for the plot. I'm actually really impatient to know what's actually happened to my friends!


	4. Chapter 4

**To my dear story followers,**

 **I apologise but I quit. I will no longer be writing on or updating any of my stories. I would like to explain.**

 **I am a Christian.**

 **And I want to unflinchingly proclaim it. I want to boldly stand in front of Jesus and God at the end, telling him I tried my hardest to do his will and his work during my time on earth. I want to become more and more like Jesus in my Christian walk.**

 **Writing fanfiction stories, especially ones that contain magic, is something I** _ **know**_ **Jesus would tell me it is not right (sinful). There are more reasons than just my stories containing magic though. Writing stories and planning them takes up a lot of time.**

 **A** _ **lot**_ **.**

 **Spending so much time on my stories (I even think about it constantly), I have come to the realisation I think more about Games/Stories/Anime than I do about God. I find I get impatient and snappish when I'm being disturbed and generally don't have time to read the bible or communicate wholeheartedly in church prayers or with my family.**

 **These attributes are fruits of the bad spirit.**

 **And so this is my answer.**

 **I am quitting this site and my stories.**

 **There is a good quote I read: If I can't give something up (be it an action or thought), it is an addiction. If you can't give something up even when God asks you to give it up… Then it is more important than God and is an idol you are worshipping.**

 **As I first explained, I want to unflinchingly declare myself a Christian, especially when I come face to face with the Savoir of the world. I don't want to feel guilty or say 'I did my best' but am unable to look him directly in the eye.**

 **There is also the fact that words aren't enough. I can** _ **try**_ **and change how much time I spend writing but I can't stop thinking about it. Saying things aren't enough. Sometimes action needs to be taken and so I am removing myself from the hole I am trapping myself in.**

 **When I first joined this site, I was a non-believer. I 'promised' to complete all my stories. A week before today, I** _ **still**_ **would have said "I'd finish my stories before I quit!" (yes, I** _ **was**_ **thinking about quitting). But the truth is, I can no longer delude myself.**

 **Jesus isn't going to wait forever while I make excuses to keep on ignoring what he has been asking me. He saved me and he** _ **died**_ **so I could live. Who am I to lie to the one who can see my innermost heart and every single thought I think?**

 **No, I know this is the path Jesus wants me to take and so I have no regret for doing this (regret for quitting would be like regretting listening to God-that just doesn't happen because God loves and has always loved me. He loves everybody, no matter where they've been or what they've done). God loves me so much that he will not let me continue in the same broken and God-defying life. Instead, he will help me grow more in him and learn to love him and others.**

 **If there was a choice between God and the world, I chose God.**

 **And so, these stories will no longer be continued because I want to seek a life with Jesus wholeheartedly, not sitting on the fence between two opposite sides. In Jesus name, I declare my promises to complete these stories null and void.**

 **Yours truly,**

 **Mearad**


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